“Cast all your cares upon Him, for He cares for you.” 1 Peter 5:7

I feel as though there is a lot of heartache and pain in the world right now. With the tragedy in CT, my heart has been heavy and at times I just want to cry. I never met those little ones or their teachers but I feel so connected to them. It may be because I'm pregnant and my hormones are EVERYWHERE or it could be that I will be a teacher one day. Children have always been my passion, I've always been very protective of them whether they are mine or not and I hope that if I was ever in the position that they were put in, that I too would stand tall and protect my children to the very end. Those teachers are true heroes. Holding and comforting their little ones so that the last thing they heard was not guns and violence but love. I can't imagine the sorrow that the community and it's families are going through and I pray that they can receive some peace through the holidays. Death is hard but during the holidays, it seems so much worse.

Back home we have a true warrior that has been fighting the battle called cancer. She was only 16 when went she went to meet her maker this morning. She was so strong and courageous and she touched so many lives. I never met Kennedy in person but I knew several members of her family. Last night as I lay down, I read the blog entry saying that it was any time now. That she was comfortable and not in pain and I couldn't help but cry. As I lay there, I prayed for peace. Peace for her family and friends and peace for her. And I'm not sure why but a sudden ease fell over me and I knew that everything was going to be okay.

With all the loss around me, I can't help but touch my belly, feel my sweet angel move and be so very thankful that God has given me such an amazing gift.  I'm full of mixed emotions as I don't want my baby to have to see the pain and go through the heartache that this world gives us. I want to protect her and hold her forever, never letting her go. And I know that these 40 weeks that I carry her she will be truly loved and protected and no harm can reach her and I cherish every day that I have been given with her. But I also know that I can't always be there for her and I'm not going to be able to take all her pain away. And that scares the crap out of me.  My outlook on life is so different now. I had no idea that just getting pregnant would make me rethink so much. My life has changed and I haven't even met my sweet little one.

 I try really hard not to 'preach' or push my religion or beliefs on anyone but today I just really needed to say a few things. I've never been one to be flashy with my beliefs. I feel as though a lot of times that actually turns people away. And I may not always be a poster child for Christianity either. But sometimes all we can do is pray. Pray for peace in this world. Pray for each other. Just pray. 

Christmas Season

Well the Christmas season is upon us and has been for awhile now, I just haven't caught the jolly bug yet. Its hard because we don't have a Christmas tree up nor do we have any type of Christmas decorations. With buying this house, they keep changing closing dates and its all so up in the air that there was no point in unpacking something to pack it up and then possibly unpack it again once we were moved in. Our original closing date was Nov 23 so the plan was to be moved in before Christmas and put the tree up then. Well the closing date came and went and our new closing date is the 18th. All last week we were told it would happen, then this week we were told possibly Friday and now here it is Thursday and we haven't heard anything. Its safe to say we won't be closing tomorrow. We leave for my Dad's on the 21st for Christmas vacation and won't return till Christmas day. Needless to say, we really aren't having a Christmas at either of our locations. Which is fine. I don't need all that stuff to make it Christmas but for some reason, and i'm blaming it on the pregnancy hormones, I'm just not feeling holly jolly. Hopefully seeing family in a few days will lift my spirit some. I sure do miss them.

We did get to take a couple of photos for our Christmas cards. Addressing them and having that kinda helped the mood a little bit. I really had fun doing the photos too. We literally only have like 3 poses but they are so cute. I can't wait to take maternity photos in the Spring. Josh laughed at me when I first told him my idea for a photo but after seeing them, he loved them too.

This one is the one we are using for our Christmas cards.

Baby Update: Everything is going smoothly. I'm starting to get heartburn a little more now. I'm hoping that means she will come out with a head full of hair. I've also felt her a lot more lately. I thought it was still too early to feel much but I actually think I've felt her have the hiccups. She moves all the time and is very active. Especially after I eat and when I lay down to watch tv. It is such an amazing feeling. I am truly blessed that God chose me to be a Mommy to such a sweet baby. Our next appointment isn't until Jan 8th. We'll get another ultrasound then and I have to have a shot because of blood type but other than that, its a normal visit. My doctor seems to be pretty happy with everything and I couldn't be any happier.

Baby Voiles is a...

Well right here in this very envelope that I received at my doctors appointment on Nov 9, is the answer to the infamous gender question.

I had my checkup and was only 17 weeks along but the doctor was still able to tell what we were having. When it came time to look, Josh and I closed our eyes and turned away. The doctor took a few quick shots and then printed the pictures off for us. He then placed it in the envelope, sealed it and then signed the seal so that it couldn't be tampered with (I love my doctor). We would wait another week to find out the results. It really wasn't that hard on me either. I was on such a high from the appointment and seeing the little one move and knowing that the baby was healthy and active that it didn't bother me not knowing. I had given the envelope to a sorority sister who would be helping us with the reveal so that also made it easier.

We had decided to have a gender reveal and actually made it part of the last Mocs tailgate of the year on Nov 17. Everyone was so busy including us that I thought it would be a great idea to just have it there. We would have a location big enough for all our friends, most of which would be there anyway, and we could grill out and just enjoy each others company.

Well the time finally arrived for us to open the box. I was so nervous, I have no idea why because I would have been happy with a girl or a boy. It was just the anticipation I guess. My sorority sister wrapped a box in cute gender neutral paper and tied ribbons around it. Inside would be lots of blue or pink balloons announcing to us the gender of our bundle. 

Josh and I before the reveal.

Cutting the ribbon.

1, 2, ....

3!!

IT'S A GIRL!!!!

Love his smile.

Hugs after finding out we are going to be parents to a little girl!

Mandi was the mastermind behind the box, she knew before anyone and did such a great job keeping it a secret. So glad I got to share this with her.

Our good friend Davis, father of girls, giving Josh a congrats and welcoming him to the club. I think he is excited about the news too.

Our little girl! This was the ultrasound picture that was in the envelope.

Now comes the hard part, naming her! Yes, we have ideas and I'm pretty sure we have locked down on one but its still such a huge decision. It will be her name for the rest of her life. But that will be a blog in itself.

Wrapped Around Her Finger

Judging by the title, I bet you thought I was going to write about the little one on the way...but you're wrong. I need to update you all on the reveal and all the fun stuff that's been happening since the last time I wrote but this entry is about a special little girl that has me "wrapped around her finger".

As most of you know, I have several brothers and sisters and between Josh and I, I have over 10 nieces and nephews. I have always tried not to play favorites and I always spend the same amount of money on each (when I do). It's only fair. But there is one special little girl that had my heart long before she was ever born. She can get away with murder when it comes to her Ni. All she has to do is look at me with those eyes and I melt.



Hollynn Paige was born on Feb 4, 2006, my freshman year of college. She lives 2 and a half hours away in Atlanta and I knew I wouldn't get to be there when she was born but as luck would have it, I would be just right down the street at a hospital with my mom. I was right there when she was born. But I couldn't get to her and I wouldn't get to meet her till weeks later. That sweet little girl has had me right where she wants me for 6 years now. When she would get in trouble she would cry and tell her mom, "I just miss Ni" as if that's the reason she was doing what she got in trouble for. Her mom would even have to call me at times so that I could talk Hollynn into wearing an outfit or eating her food because everyone knows that if Ni says its a cute outfit, it's cute. What does mom know?

She has recently started sending me text messages (via her mom's cell phone) just to say hi. We even Skype/FaceTime sometimes when it's just been too long or something big happens in her life like when she got her big girl bed. It makes me feel so loved knowing that she wants to share such events in her life with her Ni. That's why when I got married, I couldn't imagine not having her with me at the alter. There was no question that she was going to be the other princess on my big day. She even went with me to dress shop all the while waiting patiently for her turn to try on dresses. She was my mini-me in every way. Unplanned, the hair salon did her hair the exact same way mine was done and she even had a tiara just like Ni.



Well when I found out I was pregnant, concern for my mini-me was a big deal. She is still so young and she doesn't like to share me with any other little girls in her life whether they are my other nieces or just little girls we know. She gets very territorial, it's actually very cute. She has never gotten mean or anything, she just won't leave my side until they do. So when it came time to tell her mom that I was pregnant, I wanted to talk to Hollynn first. I wanted her to know that this baby no matter what it was, was going to be her baby too. And that I was always going gombe her Ni. I asked her what she thought and I could tell she was a little hesitant but quickly got excited when I included her in the reveal to my sister. In fact, Hollynn was actually the one to tell my sister "she was getting a cousin" and showed her the ultrasound photo. She was so excited and proud and I'm glad she could be included.

Well now that we know its a little girl, she is just as excited. She loves shopping for clothes and dresses and has even picked out the name "Hannah" for our peanut. (Sorry Hannah, it's not sticking, haha) During Thanksgiving, it was brought to my attention that maybe Hollynn wasn't quite ready to share her Ni. She went up to my sister at some point and said "Mom, I wasn't ready for Ni to have a baby". Talk about break my heart!! Now mind you, I can't sit and wait on a 6 year old to get ready for me to have a baby and it wouldn't change the outcome but it is very important to ,e that she knows that she is still my little girl too. During the gender reveal, she got to be there so she had a step up of her entire family. That made her feel special and she is always helping me shop (I kinda created a monster, haha, sorry Angela).

Hollynn is my sweet special little girl. I don't think you can find a picture or a time where she wasn't in my arms. And she will always have Ni's heart. There really wasn't a reason to write this blog about her but she has been on my mind a lot and even though I just saw her last Thursday, I miss her already! And I know she misses me.

Oh Boy!! Or Girl!

After doing a lot of thinking, we've decided to not find out the sex of the baby at the next appointment. We are going to have the doctor put the picture in a sealed envelope and we are going to have a reveal party!! But no worries, I'm going to work on making it stream online so that others can be a part of it with out having to be there. I've seen so many ideas online on how couples revealed the gender. There is the cake idea:

You have a cake gender neutral on the outside and you cut into it to discover Pink or Blue.

Then you also have balloons in a box. I'm pretty sure that this is the way we will be doing it. I haven't really craved sweets and I don't really want a cake, haha.

When the box is opened, out pops Pink or Blue balloons.

I'm also trying to figure out how to do a lottery with every one's guesses.  I want to make it where we can only have one winner and the money collected being split between the winner and the baby or something like that. I've seen where it started the college fund or helped buy the crib. All are great ideas, I just have to figure out the technicalities.  

At this point I'm hoping that I will be strong enough to hold out. Knowing that the gender is sitting there in the envelope will KILL ME!!! Our next doctors appointment is Nov 9th and we will be 17 weeks pregnant at the point. I've been told that Josh's nephews were not shy and were noticeable boys earlier than 17 weeks, so we'll see if our little bundle will cooperate with us. Depending on the housing situation and if we can find out on the 9th will all determine when the reveal party will be. I'm thinking it will probably be late November before we can do it. But we will see. Until then, we can't wait to find out what our little bundle is!

Homeownership!!

Josh and I have been looking for a house for awhile now. We were finally approved for everything early Spring and started seriously looking in April. We saw several houses that we liked, some that would work but never the one. That was until late this summer. We found the perfect house. It was damaged from the tornado that hit back in April and wasn't in its prime but it was the first time we both looked at each other and said "We've got to have this house?". Fate was not working with us and after a long battle with offers, we didn't get the house. Devastated, we started drawing out house plans based off this house. We just knew that we weren't going to find a house that would be as good as this one. (It was 3 stories, HUGE kitchen, very cool hang out room/bar area in the basement. Even had an acre of land all nestled in a great neighborhood.) We looked for land and even found some lots near the lake that we liked. But we didn't stop looking at houses online though.

That's when we ran across a house that we had seen before but it was already under contract so we didn't get to tour it. Apparently, the contract fell through and it was back on the market. We called our realtor ASAP and had her schedule an appointment. We loved it!! 2.5 wooded acres, 2900 sq feet, large kitchen and it even has a pool!! It's truly a beautiful home. It needs some TLC because while it has been sitting empty for over a year, people have vandalized it. They broke the railings on the porch and even damaged the AC unit. Luckily it was only one unit and it's repair is covered under the loan we are using. In fact, most of the repairs are covered. We just have to get in there and do some work! Which both of us are willing to do.

It has been a long road. When we first put our offer on the house, we waited a week to hear back. That's when we were told another offer was also submitted and that we needed to resubmit our highest and best offer. So, we sat back and discussed things and upped our offer. Waited another week and received our acceptance letter!! Yay!! We were so excited. We went and looked at the house again and took pictures so that we could show family and friends. Little did I know, the excitement would soon be shattered. The next day, our realtor contacted us and let us know that another offer was submitted. Yes, our offer was accepted but the contract was not signed (nothing had been sent to us yet). She just wanted to give us a heads up that BOA is usually bad about backing out sometimes. And that's exactly what they did. We were notified a few days later that they wanted our best and highest offer again. This time, Josh and I stayed firm. We didn't up our offer because we had already done so before. We had also agreed that this would be the last time we tried on this house. It is a great house but at this point we had already spent over a month on it and our money was tied up in it so we couldn't even put offers elsewhere if we found something.  A week went by and we finally heard back for BOA this time we received the contract not just the acceptance letter and we signed ASAP and sent back. Two business days later, they also signed and we were on our way to home ownership!!

Now we are working on quotes and estimates to come back and then the final appraisal before the house is ours Free and Clear!  We can not wait to start making it ours. Lots of painting and updates to be made but in the end, it will be such a beautiful home for our growing family!!

View of the front.

Master Bedroom!!  

View of the pool from upstairs.

View of Lookout Mtn.

Double Shower.

Looking in from the Foyer. Kitchen to the right, living room to the left and the eat in kitchen under the window to the right.

The kitchen! So many cabinets and counter space!! I will be in heaven when making all my goodies :)

Voiles Nation Rising!

As most of you may know, the Voiles Family is growing AGAIN! It was just a little over a year ago that I joined Josh's family and now here we are adding to it again. We are so excited to be having a little one. Especially after basically being told we were either going to have a really hard time conceiving or we weren't going to be able to have a baby at all. Those two little pink lines mean so much more when you don't think its possible.

Josh and I weren't "trying". We had decided that we would eventually stop preventing it from happening but weren't quite ready for that step. We told no one of the doctors visits and the news that we were originally told. We were going to do this alone without everyone knowing so that we didn't have to worry about the disappointment that may come along with not being able to. Not to mention, I didn't want people constantly asking me questions or wondering if I was. I figured there would be enough stress with just the process of trying that I didn't need everyone else's stress too.

I knew something was up so I went and bought the tests. I figured I couldn't be pregnant but I bought them anyway. The first time I tested, it was negative. I was like, okay. That's cool. But when it was time for Aunt Flo to visit and she hadn't shown up, I tested again. Still thinking nothing was up (I've never been good about being regular) I sat the test aside and finished my business. The instructions say 3 minutes but I didn't need 3 seconds. By the time I finished and turned to look at it, both pink lines were bright as day. I lost my breath and my eyes instantly filled with tears. So much was running through my head. I wanted this but now it was so real. It was hard to believe. I sat on the toilet and cried. When I thought I was done, I picked up the stick and went to tell Josh. Little did I know, I was not done and I couldn't even find my words to tell Josh. All I could do was hold the stick up. He asked, "Does that mean..." and all I could do was shake my head yes.

We went on vacation the next week but when we got back from Florida, I had my first appointment. I was so nervous and scared. I can't even remember what all I was thinking. Josh went with me and the first few things we did weren't really anything fun or interesting for him. But when we saw our blimp on the screen, it was real. I was so worried that once I got to the doctor, they were going to tell me I wasn't pregnant that it was all in my head. But everything just washed away when I saw the heart beat. Something so simple yet so complex. My life is forever changed. I always heard other people talk about how awesome it is and how magical you will feel but I never imagined how amazing seeing a blimp would be. Our little miracle baby.

I'm not 14 weeks and 5 days pregnant and starting to get my energy back. My appetite comes and goes and that has resulted in a good bit of weight loss. I'm told that I'm doing great though. No real morning sickness. Just the occasional spell of nausea but it usually passes rather quickly. Josh has been so great through it all too. He has even googled recipes when I have craved something that we've never cooked before. He lets me rest when normally he would be pushing me to do something, haha. I couldn't ask for a better partner though all of this. We are so truly blessed and can't wait till the next appointment on Nov 9th! I will have an ultrasound then and will be 17 weeks and a few days. We aren't finding out the sex quite yet. If the doctor can tell at the appointment, we are going to ask that he puts the ultrasound in an envelope and we are planning a reveal party. Something to celebrate the occasion and gives us a great excuse to get our friends together and hang out, hopefully in our new house. I will write about that later :-)

13 weeks