“Cast all your cares upon Him, for He cares for you.” 1 Peter 5:7

I feel as though there is a lot of heartache and pain in the world right now. With the tragedy in CT, my heart has been heavy and at times I just want to cry. I never met those little ones or their teachers but I feel so connected to them. It may be because I'm pregnant and my hormones are EVERYWHERE or it could be that I will be a teacher one day. Children have always been my passion, I've always been very protective of them whether they are mine or not and I hope that if I was ever in the position that they were put in, that I too would stand tall and protect my children to the very end. Those teachers are true heroes. Holding and comforting their little ones so that the last thing they heard was not guns and violence but love. I can't imagine the sorrow that the community and it's families are going through and I pray that they can receive some peace through the holidays. Death is hard but during the holidays, it seems so much worse.

Back home we have a true warrior that has been fighting the battle called cancer. She was only 16 when went she went to meet her maker this morning. She was so strong and courageous and she touched so many lives. I never met Kennedy in person but I knew several members of her family. Last night as I lay down, I read the blog entry saying that it was any time now. That she was comfortable and not in pain and I couldn't help but cry. As I lay there, I prayed for peace. Peace for her family and friends and peace for her. And I'm not sure why but a sudden ease fell over me and I knew that everything was going to be okay.

With all the loss around me, I can't help but touch my belly, feel my sweet angel move and be so very thankful that God has given me such an amazing gift.  I'm full of mixed emotions as I don't want my baby to have to see the pain and go through the heartache that this world gives us. I want to protect her and hold her forever, never letting her go. And I know that these 40 weeks that I carry her she will be truly loved and protected and no harm can reach her and I cherish every day that I have been given with her. But I also know that I can't always be there for her and I'm not going to be able to take all her pain away. And that scares the crap out of me.  My outlook on life is so different now. I had no idea that just getting pregnant would make me rethink so much. My life has changed and I haven't even met my sweet little one.

 I try really hard not to 'preach' or push my religion or beliefs on anyone but today I just really needed to say a few things. I've never been one to be flashy with my beliefs. I feel as though a lot of times that actually turns people away. And I may not always be a poster child for Christianity either. But sometimes all we can do is pray. Pray for peace in this world. Pray for each other. Just pray.