“Cast all your cares upon Him, for He cares for you.” 1 Peter 5:7

I feel as though there is a lot of heartache and pain in the world right now. With the tragedy in CT, my heart has been heavy and at times I just want to cry. I never met those little ones or their teachers but I feel so connected to them. It may be because I'm pregnant and my hormones are EVERYWHERE or it could be that I will be a teacher one day. Children have always been my passion, I've always been very protective of them whether they are mine or not and I hope that if I was ever in the position that they were put in, that I too would stand tall and protect my children to the very end. Those teachers are true heroes. Holding and comforting their little ones so that the last thing they heard was not guns and violence but love. I can't imagine the sorrow that the community and it's families are going through and I pray that they can receive some peace through the holidays. Death is hard but during the holidays, it seems so much worse.

Back home we have a true warrior that has been fighting the battle called cancer. She was only 16 when went she went to meet her maker this morning. She was so strong and courageous and she touched so many lives. I never met Kennedy in person but I knew several members of her family. Last night as I lay down, I read the blog entry saying that it was any time now. That she was comfortable and not in pain and I couldn't help but cry. As I lay there, I prayed for peace. Peace for her family and friends and peace for her. And I'm not sure why but a sudden ease fell over me and I knew that everything was going to be okay.

With all the loss around me, I can't help but touch my belly, feel my sweet angel move and be so very thankful that God has given me such an amazing gift.  I'm full of mixed emotions as I don't want my baby to have to see the pain and go through the heartache that this world gives us. I want to protect her and hold her forever, never letting her go. And I know that these 40 weeks that I carry her she will be truly loved and protected and no harm can reach her and I cherish every day that I have been given with her. But I also know that I can't always be there for her and I'm not going to be able to take all her pain away. And that scares the crap out of me.  My outlook on life is so different now. I had no idea that just getting pregnant would make me rethink so much. My life has changed and I haven't even met my sweet little one.

 I try really hard not to 'preach' or push my religion or beliefs on anyone but today I just really needed to say a few things. I've never been one to be flashy with my beliefs. I feel as though a lot of times that actually turns people away. And I may not always be a poster child for Christianity either. But sometimes all we can do is pray. Pray for peace in this world. Pray for each other. Just pray. 

Christmas Season

Well the Christmas season is upon us and has been for awhile now, I just haven't caught the jolly bug yet. Its hard because we don't have a Christmas tree up nor do we have any type of Christmas decorations. With buying this house, they keep changing closing dates and its all so up in the air that there was no point in unpacking something to pack it up and then possibly unpack it again once we were moved in. Our original closing date was Nov 23 so the plan was to be moved in before Christmas and put the tree up then. Well the closing date came and went and our new closing date is the 18th. All last week we were told it would happen, then this week we were told possibly Friday and now here it is Thursday and we haven't heard anything. Its safe to say we won't be closing tomorrow. We leave for my Dad's on the 21st for Christmas vacation and won't return till Christmas day. Needless to say, we really aren't having a Christmas at either of our locations. Which is fine. I don't need all that stuff to make it Christmas but for some reason, and i'm blaming it on the pregnancy hormones, I'm just not feeling holly jolly. Hopefully seeing family in a few days will lift my spirit some. I sure do miss them.

We did get to take a couple of photos for our Christmas cards. Addressing them and having that kinda helped the mood a little bit. I really had fun doing the photos too. We literally only have like 3 poses but they are so cute. I can't wait to take maternity photos in the Spring. Josh laughed at me when I first told him my idea for a photo but after seeing them, he loved them too.

This one is the one we are using for our Christmas cards.

Baby Update: Everything is going smoothly. I'm starting to get heartburn a little more now. I'm hoping that means she will come out with a head full of hair. I've also felt her a lot more lately. I thought it was still too early to feel much but I actually think I've felt her have the hiccups. She moves all the time and is very active. Especially after I eat and when I lay down to watch tv. It is such an amazing feeling. I am truly blessed that God chose me to be a Mommy to such a sweet baby. Our next appointment isn't until Jan 8th. We'll get another ultrasound then and I have to have a shot because of blood type but other than that, its a normal visit. My doctor seems to be pretty happy with everything and I couldn't be any happier.

Baby Voiles is a...

Well right here in this very envelope that I received at my doctors appointment on Nov 9, is the answer to the infamous gender question.

I had my checkup and was only 17 weeks along but the doctor was still able to tell what we were having. When it came time to look, Josh and I closed our eyes and turned away. The doctor took a few quick shots and then printed the pictures off for us. He then placed it in the envelope, sealed it and then signed the seal so that it couldn't be tampered with (I love my doctor). We would wait another week to find out the results. It really wasn't that hard on me either. I was on such a high from the appointment and seeing the little one move and knowing that the baby was healthy and active that it didn't bother me not knowing. I had given the envelope to a sorority sister who would be helping us with the reveal so that also made it easier.

We had decided to have a gender reveal and actually made it part of the last Mocs tailgate of the year on Nov 17. Everyone was so busy including us that I thought it would be a great idea to just have it there. We would have a location big enough for all our friends, most of which would be there anyway, and we could grill out and just enjoy each others company.

Well the time finally arrived for us to open the box. I was so nervous, I have no idea why because I would have been happy with a girl or a boy. It was just the anticipation I guess. My sorority sister wrapped a box in cute gender neutral paper and tied ribbons around it. Inside would be lots of blue or pink balloons announcing to us the gender of our bundle. 

Josh and I before the reveal.

Cutting the ribbon.

1, 2, ....

3!!

IT'S A GIRL!!!!

Love his smile.

Hugs after finding out we are going to be parents to a little girl!

Mandi was the mastermind behind the box, she knew before anyone and did such a great job keeping it a secret. So glad I got to share this with her.

Our good friend Davis, father of girls, giving Josh a congrats and welcoming him to the club. I think he is excited about the news too.

Our little girl! This was the ultrasound picture that was in the envelope.

Now comes the hard part, naming her! Yes, we have ideas and I'm pretty sure we have locked down on one but its still such a huge decision. It will be her name for the rest of her life. But that will be a blog in itself.